Hello @FG70,
I totally understand the difficulties in finding the words. I’m so sorry to hear you are in an abusive relationship, and that it has been like this for 15 years. When you are ready we are here for you. You can also call our freephone helpline 0800 999 5428 10-5pm each day and Thursday 5-8pm as well or email help@galop.org.uk. In your time and whatever feels useful to you.
Warm regards,
The Helpline Team