Hey Lancashire Lad,
It’s very good to hear that you’ve been able to start seeking professional support with this, because it’s so much to be dealing with by yourself. It sounds like your ex was very frightening and controlling and that can have a big impact, which would of course take time to recover from.
Thank you for explaining more about the financial impact of your ex’s behaviour. Financial abuse not only affects you in the relationship (it can make someone more dependent on their partner in so many ways, so it can be very controlling as well as very distressing) but potentially for years afterwards, as it has for you.
Fortunately, financial institutions have an increasing awareness of financial abuse and it’s effects, and it’s being more commonly understood. More people now understand that it is not the abuse survivor’s fault that they’re in debt. A really good place to start with looking for help is Surviving Economic Abuse – https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/i-need-help/. They have lots of guidance and information, and a financial support line you can ring for more direct support. Have a look at their resources and see how you get on.
You’ve started the hard work of facing what your ex-partner did to you and it’s impact, financially and emotionally. This is such a great, and difficult, step. And recovery is possible, but it’s important to not do it without support. Which is why it’s brilliant that you’re here talking to us and everyone else on the forum to share your experiences. If you’d like to talk to us more directly, you’re also welcome to call us (0800 999 5424) or e-mail (firstname.lastname@example.org).
All the best,
The helpline team