Reply To: Is it abuse or is it me?

[bishbashbosh]

Hey strong, what you say about when you were watching Tv with your girlfriend reminds me of a time when my partner said something I did was maybe abusive? it happened the only time I really tried to withdraw from the relationship, quite early on when we’d had some fights, after the ‘honeymoon’ was over a bit. i was getting a bit sick of things, we weren’t living together and I said i need some space. She said that was fine but after a day of not being in touch she called me and she was so upset and was telling me how painful this was for her, how I was playing on her insecurities and gaslighting her. now I think of it I’m not even sure that’s what gaslighting means. But I felt so terrible I went straight round and comforted her and she seemed so vulnerable and lost. and she was like ‘thats never going to happen again, is it’ and even though it was over a year ago, she still brings up to me that it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done even when she sometimes goes for days ignoring me in the house if i’ve upset her. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I left her…but I also don’t know if I can keep doing this. it’s exhausting