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National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline 0800 999 5428

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Home Forums Looking for support? ‘Is it abuse?’ Is it abuse or is it me? Reply To: Is it abuse or is it me?


Hi Seahorse,

Really good to hear that the forum has been useful to you. It is great when people can help one another with their stories 🙂 Breaking the silence can be so helpful and it can be reassuring to know others have faced similar issues.

Picking up on your point about thinking through are you being over sensitive or is your partner abusive. There are a couple of useful tools in understanding the nature of abuse incase you find these helpful. This wheel is designed to help explore all the different parts of abuse. People use it to see which elements makes sense and build a picture of their experience. Quite often it unearths lots of ways you might have not realised the how much abuse is or was happening.

At the helpline we are big fans of this factsheet, which compares what makes a relationship healthy, unhealthy and abusive. It is really useful to gauge what you experience is in each of the categories. It also helps to demonstrate when important parts of relationships move to abusive.

You mentioned struggling to support yourself if you were to leave. One real and big reason many people feel stuck with an abusive person is because of finances and being able to afford the next step. There is an organisation called Surviving Economic Abuse who have a resource section on their website which has a lot of information related to domestic abuse and money. If you wanted to call the helpline we could go through this with you.

Wishing you all the best and you’re not alone with this,

The Helpline Team